If It Ain't Broke, Break It

In memory of George Carlin, here are some of my favorite quotes from him:

"Imagine meeting your maker and finding out it's Frito-Lay."

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."

"Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror."

"A laugh is a smile with a hole in it."

"Santa is satan spelled inside out."

"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."